It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken

When my friend "C" told me she was reading the breakup book, I was intrigued. My enthusiasm quickly turned to skepticism. Could there really be an alternative to sitting in bed throwing chocolates at the cheesy romantic comedy on the TV? (Ok, I've personally never done this but ever since I saw it in Legally Blonde it's been on my to-do list.) And finally, my skepticism turned into full-on panic. Would Ben and Jerry's go out of business? What would I do without their delicious chocolate fudge brownie ice cream?!

I decided to see how big of a threat this book really was to the feeling-sorry-for-yourself-in-bed-wearing-pajamas-while-eating-ice-cream-out-of-the-container-with-a-spoon industry and read it for myself. The verdict: If I had recently been dumped, I actually think this book would have been enormously helpful.

The book is empowering in a silly way, but when you've just been broken up with, it's kind of nice to have someone who thinks you're a "superfox", even if they've never met you... The authors, married couple Greg and Amiira Behrendt (if that name sounds familiar it's because Greg is the author of  the now famous "He's Just Not That Into You") share their own break-up stories, answer questions, and remind you that calling your ex is not a good idea under any circumstances.


If you have your rose colored goggles on, there are helpful little exercises to remind you about all the things that were not so great. Great dresser, degree from Princeton, etc... go ahead, list all his/her good qualities. Cheated on you with your boss? That goes in the douchebag column. 


My personal favorite are the psycho confessionals. Think drunk dialing your ex was bad? Reading these horrifically embarrassing stories from girls who...
a) climbed through a window and snuck into their ex's room
b) left their ex by the side of a highway
c) spent hundreds of dollars on a new look and spent hours scheming up a way to run into him
...will make you feel WAY more sane.


Also pretty hilarious are the Dear Greg questions. But Greg, what if he has my CDs?! (Does this remind anyone else of Dane Cook or is it just me?) Dear CD owner, 1992 called... 


I laughed, I felt sorry for some of these people, and sadly, some of their words hit home. Break ups are no fun, but if you follow the book's advice I actually think you might get over it faster. Fortunately for me and the ice cream industry, I'd still rate the threat level as low.