Twitter style

It's time to update but frankly I just don't have the time or energy to write a full blog post. So why not take a cue from Twitter? Today's reviews will be written in 140 characters or less.


A Confederacy of Dunces by John Kennedy Toole
- Awful with a side of awkwardness. Ignatius: certifiably crazy and unlikable, his behavior erratic, and the ending implausible. What a joke.

Pigs in Heaven by Barbara Kingsolver
- Custody battle between mom and Cherokee nation over 6 year-old. Good but unemotional. Too many names, not enough heart. Who was that again?

Packing!

I would like to begin this post by saying I am reading an actual book! Nothing like 2 hours to kill waiting for jury duty... so, coming next week: a review of Toole's A Confederacy of Dunces.

In the meantime, I have decided to blog about something else completely unrelated: packing. Traveling has become a semi-regular part of my life that I am still trying to figure out. In the beginning I struggled most with the 3-1-1 liquid rule, and feeling like I have finally mastered that, I've decided to post my tips. (Now, I just need to figure out how to bring only 1 pair of shoes...)

Here is Rachel's guide to getting through security with everything you need.

#1. Almost all hotels offer the basics like soap, shampoo, conditioner, and lotion. You don't need to bring any of those things and most of these items can be re-purposed!

What else is shampoo good for? Instant laundry. While that free hotel soap might leave little white flecks all over your black undies, shampoo is clear. Fill your sink and voila!

Conditioner makes pretty good shaving cream and can also be applied to your ends as hair product if you're prone to dry hair, frizzies, etc...

If the thought of going without body wash makes your skin itch, (soap can be pretty drying), after suddsing up, apply lotion liberally (standing away from the direct flow of water) and wait about a minute. Rinse and enjoy your non-dry skin. You can always put more lotion on again out of the shower.

#2. Your deodorant? Not a liquid. If you use the gel kind, I think you can switch to a solid for 2 days of your life.

#3. Facewash? Not needed. Face cleansing wipes are also not considered liquids. I like the foaming ones from Olay, but Ponds, Neutrogena, and probably every other skincare brand offer them too.

#4. Perfume. Department store makeup counters frequently give out little tiny samples of perfume as a gift with purchase. You can also buy them from Sephora, Amazon, and online perfume sites for about $2 each.

#5. When it comes to haircare, a straightening iron is your best friend. No liquids required. Also, no matter how bad your morning hair a bun will usually hide the worst of it. Stash some bobby pins in your bag and you're good to go.

#6. There's no substitute for toothpaste. It's important to know that you cannot bring a larger size toothpaste tube that only has 3oz remaining. Why this is, I have no idea.
Fortunately, travel sizes are widely available. If you're cheap, the best place to get these for free is your dentist! He or she will be delighted that you are taking such an active interest in your oral hygiene. Alternatively, if you and your coworkers all do a lot of business travel, your company might be willing to spring for a bulk box.

#7. Makeup
- Tinted moisturizer is like face lotion, sunscreen, and light foundation all-in-one. Pretty much every drugstore and department store brand makes one and all of the ones I've seen are 3oz or less.
- Mascara might be a liquid, but I have yet to be stopped at security for going through with it in my purse. If you're a stickler for rules, try one with a skinnier tube so it takes up less room in your bag.
- Chapstick, lipstick, and eyeliner aren't liquids. (Unless you use liquid eyeliner...I'm not that skilled/steady handed.)

And finally, if you must have your (insert product you can't live without here), you can order travel sizes of pretty much any product online. Here are my two favorite sites (and before you ask my blog is not nearly popular enough to have paid advertisers): http://www.minimus.biz/ which carries the usual brands you'd find a store and some more upscale brands, and http://www.3floz.com/ which only carries fancy brands.

Happy travels!

Does a cookbook count?

I still haven't been doing any actual book reading. This is mainly due to not having a lot of time, and also that I don't have a library card in my new city. Instead of entertaining you all with another chapter from my trashy romance novel, (I know, my readers are dying to know what happens to Theo...) I thought I would share a little culinary adventure I had with The Barefoot Contessa cookbook.

Yesterday I had about 14 people over for brunch and of course turned to my collection of Barefoot Contessa cookbooks to help me figure out what to make. A recipe for potato basil frittata caught my eye, mainly because it contains Gruyere, which is one of my favorite cheeses. You can find the recipe here: http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/ina-garten/potato-basil-frittata-recipe/index.html

Ingredients

• 8 tablespoons (1 stick) unsalted butter, divided
• 2 cups peeled and 1/2-inch diced boiling potatoes (4 potatoes)
• 8 extra-large eggs
• 15 ounces ricotta cheese
• 3/4 pound Gruyere cheese, grated
• 1/2 teaspoon kosher salt
• 1/2 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
• 3/4 cup chopped fresh basil leaves
• 1/3 cup flour
• 3/4 teaspoon baking powder

Directions

Heat the oven to 350 degrees F.

Melt 3 tablespoons of butter in a 10-inch ovenproof omelet pan over medium-low heat. Add the potatoes and fry them until cooked through, turning often, about 10 to 15 minutes. Melt the remaining 5 tablespoons of butter in a small dish in the microwave.

Meanwhile, whisk the eggs, then stir in the ricotta, Gruyere, melted butter, salt, pepper, and basil. Sprinkle on the flour and baking powder and stir into the egg mixture.

Pour the egg mixture over the potatoes and place the pan in the center of the oven. Bake the frittata until it is browned and puffed, 50 minutes to 1 hour. It will be rounded and firm in the middle and a knife inserted in the frittata should come out clean. Serve hot.

I did exactly as the recipe said except that I had mistakenly purchased large eggs instead of extra large eggs. Not knowing the conversion from large to extra large, I put in 10 which seemed reasonable to me. I got to the pouring everything in the pan part, when I noticed that my pan was looking very full. Very, very full. Unconcerned, I put the entire thing into the oven and set the timer for 50 minutes. 50 minutes later, my frittata was liquidy in the middle. I reset the timer for another 15 minutes. Unfortunately, my pan being as full as it was, little bits had dribbled over the side onto the bottom of my oven and as my frittata continued to cook, my oven started to smoke. Concerned that my apartment was now completely filled with smoke and I had people coming over in 10 minutes, I shut off the oven and decided that the frittata had been a failed experiment in baking.

An hour or so into the brunch as I was telling the story of how I failed to make this frittata, we decided to see how it was looking. By the miracles of Sunday brunch, it was done! A knife inserted into the middle came out clean and we declared it ready for eating - which we did.

The frittata was devoured too quickly to get any photos, but I look forward to many more frittatas and brunches in my new home :-)

New city - a little less commute time for reading

I recently made the move up to the city and have been enjoying my extra hour of sleep every day tremendously. Unfortunately, this also means I have a lot less time each day built in to my commute for reading. I think I may go back to blogging in greater detail about one book at a time (which was my original intention for this blog anyway).

So, let's begin with the recently finished, "The Cheap Bastard's Guide to San Francisco". My boss, who also recently moved to SF, highly recommended it, and a used copy off Amazon was a steal at $6. Now I know why...

The thing about travel/recommendation books is that restaurants come and go, prices change, things become overrun by tourists and less fun, etc.. I was excited to try a restaurant the book mentions several times called Home. The other day I walked by and it no longer exists :-( Same with several of the other restaurants, bars, etc... that I looked up. Also, I don't really care that all these great bars have $2 drinks on Tuesday. I don't want to go out on Tuesday nights! The same way I feel about sitting around at a hair salon from 10-2 on Thursday hoping to get a free cut in exchange for letting a student practice on my head. Really, there's only a $1 entrance fee to the zoo on the 3rd Wednesday of months ending in Z between 3 and 5pm?!

Enough criticism, some of the ideas for entertainment are really good and he has a whole section on festivals/parades/other community happenings. (Though I could probably find this info on sfgate, yelp, or other community websites. Just saying!)

In the end, I can't help but wonder if sites like Groupon, Living Social, Goldstar, etc... have made this book a lot less useful? These days I can pretty much get a bargain massage, facial, dinner, theater tickets, and more for half price any time I want.

Worst blogger EVER award :-(

Well, I knew when I accepted this new job it would be longer hours but I did not anticipate exactly how long... My time on the train that I used to spend reading is now spent:
A) working
B) sleeping
C) playing mindless cell phone games to avoid doing item B and missing my stop

Here's the quick rundown of what I'm been reading:
Cutting for Stone - This was incredibly well written but I felt some of the violence/bloody-grossness was not contributing to the book in any way. The storyline reminded me a little bit of Slumdog Millionaire (which I was also not crazy about even though everyone else seemed to love it) so maybe others will love this book and I'll be the lone "meh". I'm fine with that.

Room - LOVED IT! I thought this was incredibly well written and handled a very difficult subject matter without making me nauseous. I was still thinking about it a week later. There's so much to discuss I think this would be a great book for a reading group.

The Alchemist - Wow. Wow. Wow. I found the recommendation for this one on the list of "books you must read before you die" and I couldn't agree more. There are so many life lessons hidden in this book that I think this is one I'll go back to over and over gaining something new each time.

The Birth of Venus - I wasn't sure what to expect when I picked this up from a used book store in Oregon, but I ended up really enjoying it. Set in Florence during the renaissance, it's the story of a girl whose wealthy father hires a painter to come live with the family and paint their newly constructed chapel. The girl is secretly drawing (something young women are apparently not supposed to be doing) and she turns to the painter for "tutoring". I think we all know how that story goes... The plot is set against the start of an invasion by France, strict religious rules, and the overthrowing of powerful political families within the city. I thought it was engaging, well written, and I would definitely recommend it.

Catching up...

I've been doing a lot of reading and not a lot of reviewing, so it's time to play some catch up! Here goes:

I finally finished Inside the Mind of the Shopper by Herb Sorensen. Unfortunately, part 2 of the book was not any more interesting than part 1 of the book. Unless your job is to design grocery store layouts (other types of retail stores are not really addressed) you will likely find this book a snoozefest. My personal favorite part is that all of the charts that are clearly meant to be in color, are printed in black and white. Useless.

Next, The Husband Trap by Tracy Anne Warren. The premise is completely unrealistic, the characters are stereotypical, you can see the ending coming from the first sentence but I LOVED it. Loved, loved, loved it! Enormously entertaining and great light reading. Best for those who love trashy romance novels.

Next up, PopCo by Scarlett Thomas. This is a fairly light read about Alice Butler, a 29 year old woman who works for a toy company designing secret code and spy games for kids. Which is fitting, because she wears a necklace given to her by her father, containing a secret code which leads to some treasure, and she spends a good part of the book trying to decipher it. This sounds much sillier than the book really is... Actually I thought 95% of it was extremely engaging and well written. Unfortunately, Thomas completely blows the ending. Recommended (but please note lack of the word highly...)

And last but not least, Women of the Silk by Gail Tsukiyama. This is a beautiful story about Pei, a Chinese girl whose family can no longer support her and when a fortune teller tells the family he does not see marriage in her future, the family sends her to work in the silk factory. There she becomes good friends with the other girls and the story is about their relationships as they grow older and must face more difficult life decisions.
I got a little bit hung up on the details in some parts of the book, but still felt that it was very good.

PHEW! Enough for now. I'll be back to review Cutting for Stone later this week which I finished Monday.
Currently reading Room by Emma Donoghue. I seriously cannot put it down it's so amazing. Pending the last 25% of the book, this might be a top five for the year pick.

Tipping the Velvet - Sarah Waters

Unless you are familiar with lesbian slang of the late 1800s, you probably did not know that tipping the velvet has absolutely nothing to do with a) leaving a tip, b) tipping your hat, or c) velvet fabric. (I won't post what it really is as I'm pretty sure my immediate family reads this. If you're curious, just google it.)

The book is a coming of age story for a young woman, Nancy, who at the beginning of the story is about 16 or 17 years old. Her sister's boyfriend works at a theater and when the show isn't sold out, which seems to be every night, he allows the girls to watch for free. Nancy soon becomes obsessed with one of the acts, a masher (which is slang for a woman who dresses up like a man) named Kitty Butler. Before long Nancy is making the trip to see the show every night and Kitty, noticing her adoring fan, offers Nancy the chance to be her dresser. It isn't long before Kitty's act becomes too popular for the little theaters, and her manager, Walter, takes Kitty to London to grow her career. Nancy goes with her to escape her family and the small town oyster life. The girls have to share a bed and so one night they have a little too much to drink and...well, you know what happens. (But of course from Nancy's conversations with her sister about her feelings for Kitty, you'd have to be blind not to have seen that coming.)

Life continues blissfully for Kitty and Nancy in their relationship until other mashers start coming onto the scene. Suddenly Kitty's act is not as unique and exciting as it was before. So when Walter walks in one day to find Kitty and Nancy singing and dancing together, he reacts the way any normal man would. What could be better than one woman? TWO! A new act is created and suddenly Nancy is a star. Unfortunately, her happiness is brought to an abrupt halt when Kitty decides she's ashamed to be a lesbian and secretly marries Walter. Nancy runs away and thus ends part 1.

In part 2, Nancy finds herself wandering on the street wearing her masher outfit (menswear) when she's approached by a man looking for a little fun. Deciding that this seems like an easy way to make a quick buck, Nancy turns to world's oldest profession: prostitution. This continues until she meets Diana, a very wealthy woman who invites Nancy to come live with her in luxury as her companion/boy toy. Everyone is happy and this goes on for a while, but then Nancy has sex with one of the maids and is promptly tossed out on the street. End part 2.

Nancy begins part 3 broke, beat up, and pretty much desperate. She goes to the house of Florence, a woman she met once years before, and after much persuading, talks Flo into letting her stay there in exchange for housekeeping, cooking, etc... After a few months of sleeping on the floor, doing hard manual labor, and making no money, Nancy falls back on what she knows: sex. Though the book tries to convince you that Nancy is in love with Florence, I think it's pretty obvious she just didn't want to sleep on the floor anymore.

If this book is about Nancy escaping her small town life, Waters has definitely succeeded in transforming Nancy into a big city girl (errr....boy). But in the process she becomes someone completely different than the Nancy we come to love at the beginning of the story, and you just want to yell at her to go home to her family! Though her sister clearly does not approve of Nancy's lesbian relationships, when midway through the book Nancy moves without telling anyone and stops writing letters, it's hard to feel that the family shunned her for the lifestyle choice. Clearly Nancy has turned her back on them. And so, as she makes one bad decision after another, it's just too hard to be sympathetic.

Verdict: Well written, but the story is hard to relate to and the characters (except Kitty) lack warmth. I heard they're making a movie so I'll be interested to see how the images on screen match the ones in my head.

The Man in the Wooden Hat - Jane Gardam

I didn't realize that this is actually the third book in the series so I'm a little disappointed as reviewers on Amazon gush about how the first really set the stage for this one. I guess that probably explains why I felt pieces were missing from this story...

Although the book's title suggests the man in the wooden hat is a main character, or at least theme, the central people in the story are well known lawyer/judge Edward Feathers (or Filth as he is commonly known) and his wife Betty. The two meet in Hong Kong and although their prior meetings are never described, or maybe there were none, Edward proposes via letter a few days before arriving for a work assignment. Betty, having no other prospects and being very poor, accepts his offer. At a party that evening she meets Terry, another well known lawyer/judge Edward frequently clashes with. Sparks fly and she promptly has an affair with him.

Edward's childhood, which is not explained in great detail (probably in book 1) but is hinted at in this book, has left him with serious issues of abandonment. He makes Betty promise repeatedly never to leave him and Edward's assistant/friend Albert, a dwarf wearing a wooden hat (hence the title?), threatens to "break" Betty should she leave him. It's unclear throughout the book if Albert actually exists or if he is a figment of Betty's guilty conscience.

There's a lack of clarity at times regarding Betty's relationship with Terry, as well as much later in the book with his son Harry. Then again maybe it's left intentionally vague for the reader to view Betty either sympathetically or as a villain. (At the time of the affair, Terry is married himself.) Personally I had a hard time feeling sorry for Betty. She can't seem to make up her mind. One moment she's rude to Edward, running away to a friend's house to escape him without so much as a note, and the next she's declaring her love and delighted to see him when he comes looking for her.

The continuous flashbacks make it a bit hard to follow as do the presence of so many characters. But having finally finished it, I think it's an interesting story about how a very simple, almost businesslike marriage, can become so much more complicated by the longing for and eventual addition of love and passion.

In the works...

Last weekend my mom gave me Cutting for Stone and Breaking Trail. I started Cutting for Stone but due to personal stuff going on the week (i.e. quitting my job), I was too excited to read. I'll try again this week.

I also made a library trip today and am happy to report that I picked out some exciting looking stuff. Whoever said don't judge a book by its cover obviously hadn't seen one with a half naked man it. Here's what I've got:
PopCo - Scarlett Thomas. Here's what it says on the back: "How many novels can you think of that leave the reader with an intriguing puzzle to solve, plus a cake recipe, plus a crossword and a list of the first thousand prime numbers?..." Umm..who doesn't want to read this?!

The Man in the Wooden Hat - Jane Gardam

Tipping the Velvet - Sarah Waters

I know it's been a while since I reviewed anything so I look forward to getting out of my book funk and finding some good stuff to post here.

Inside the Mind of the Shopper - Herb Sorensen, Ph.D. (Part 1)

Unless you are a massive nerd like me, it's unlikely you will ever need (or want) to read books about why people buy what they buy. I, on the other hand, have been excited about this book since it arrived from Amazon and have been waiting to tear it open like a little kid on Christmas.

This is most certainly not my first book on the subject. Paco Underhill's Why We Buy pretty much changed my life, as did Martin Lindstrom's Buy-ology. (Side note: Dave Eyler - if you're reading this I REALLY want my copy back.) Most companies, specifically retail, believe that getting consumers in the door is the hurdle, and they have spent billions of dollars on advertising and other promotions thinking they are accomplishing the goal: get people to buy our product. What they've neglected to understand is how consumers interact with the space one they're in and the impact that has on the purchase decision. (Too academic? Ever walked out of a store because you couldn't find what you were looking for, the sales person was too pushy, or the line to try on clothes was too long? That's what I mean.)

Creating a retail environment that appeals to a wide range of consumers isn't easy. Consider the grocery store: I've run in to grab a bottle of wine on my way to a party, and I've spent an hour roaming the aisles on a trip to stock up. Sorenson knows that shoppers fall into buckets (in the market research world we use fancy words like "behavioral segmentation") and appealing to the various buckets means finding out who they are and what they want.

Now that I've built this up, let's bring it back down. This book is boring. I can't read on the train because the book isn't engaging so I get distracted by every little noise, and I can't read in bed because this book puts me to sleep. I've been "reading it" for 2 weeks and am on page 54. Surely at some point this will get interesting...right?

It's clear I need to live up to my blog's name and pick at least one other book to read so I don't waste all of time playing BubbleLabs on my phone. Please leave suggestions!

Don't worry though, part 2 of this book review is coming...eventually.

It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken

When my friend "C" told me she was reading the breakup book, I was intrigued. My enthusiasm quickly turned to skepticism. Could there really be an alternative to sitting in bed throwing chocolates at the cheesy romantic comedy on the TV? (Ok, I've personally never done this but ever since I saw it in Legally Blonde it's been on my to-do list.) And finally, my skepticism turned into full-on panic. Would Ben and Jerry's go out of business? What would I do without their delicious chocolate fudge brownie ice cream?!

I decided to see how big of a threat this book really was to the feeling-sorry-for-yourself-in-bed-wearing-pajamas-while-eating-ice-cream-out-of-the-container-with-a-spoon industry and read it for myself. The verdict: If I had recently been dumped, I actually think this book would have been enormously helpful.

The book is empowering in a silly way, but when you've just been broken up with, it's kind of nice to have someone who thinks you're a "superfox", even if they've never met you... The authors, married couple Greg and Amiira Behrendt (if that name sounds familiar it's because Greg is the author of  the now famous "He's Just Not That Into You") share their own break-up stories, answer questions, and remind you that calling your ex is not a good idea under any circumstances.


If you have your rose colored goggles on, there are helpful little exercises to remind you about all the things that were not so great. Great dresser, degree from Princeton, etc... go ahead, list all his/her good qualities. Cheated on you with your boss? That goes in the douchebag column. 


My personal favorite are the psycho confessionals. Think drunk dialing your ex was bad? Reading these horrifically embarrassing stories from girls who...
a) climbed through a window and snuck into their ex's room
b) left their ex by the side of a highway
c) spent hundreds of dollars on a new look and spent hours scheming up a way to run into him
...will make you feel WAY more sane.


Also pretty hilarious are the Dear Greg questions. But Greg, what if he has my CDs?! (Does this remind anyone else of Dane Cook or is it just me?) Dear CD owner, 1992 called... 


I laughed, I felt sorry for some of these people, and sadly, some of their words hit home. Break ups are no fun, but if you follow the book's advice I actually think you might get over it faster. Fortunately for me and the ice cream industry, I'd still rate the threat level as low. 

Curious?

Here's a fun exercise for introverts: carry around a large bright yellow book that says Curious? in giant black letters. If that's not a conversation starter, I don't know what is...

There are a lot of books that promise to help you find the key to happiness. There are a lot of books that don't deliver. Curious? by Todd Kashdan, is not one of those books. Over and over again I found myself nodding, wanting to highlight things or make notes in the margins. Kashdan blends years of scientific research with everyday stories readers can relate to, and the end result is a highly engaging, fun, and interesting read.

The idea behind it all is that we need to feel like we're "seeking the new" to feel fulfilled. But obviously we can't spend every moment seeking out new experiences, so we need to learn to be curious and explorers in our daily lives. From our intellectual pursuits to relationships to mundane chores, Kashdan offers in depth look at how to expand our curiosity to become a more fulfilled (and yes, happier) person.

This is a must read!

We now interrupt regularly scheduled programming...

A disclaimer: I promise to do this no more than once per year.


Dear Blog Readers,
I would like to take this opportunity to blog about something a little bit more personal: breast cancer. Did you know that nearly 1 in 8 women are affected? I didn't. But that means 39 of my female friends will have to battle the disease in their lives. Or maybe it will be me.

I've decided to take a stand against cancer and do my part to be part of the cure. On July 9th and 10th I'll be participating in the Avon Walk for Breast Cancer, walking almost 40 miles with thousands of other women to raise money for medical research, education and early detection programs, clinical care, and support services. 


If you are able, please consider making a tax deductible donation to help me reach my fundraising goal of $1,800. You can Donate here or visit the page to view my progress and see fun facts as I begin training.

Thanks in advance for your support!

Another double feature: Looking for Alaska and Bursts

Let's begin with Bursts: The Hidden Pattern Behind Everything We Do by Albert-Laszlo Barabasi. I was excited about this one. His first book, Linked, was extremely well reviewed so I was expecting to really enjoy Bursts. Boy was I wrong...

The book begins with a story about an artist named Hassan who has trouble getting through airport security because his travel patterns are suspicious. About one chapter of the entire book actually discusses the subtitle attempting to cover how human beings don't in fact move randomly, but in "bursts" of activity followed by long periods of nothing. The remaining 90% of the book is a story about a 3 month period in Hungarian/Transylvanian history, which, while interesting (note the sarcasm), has NOTHING to do with the topic of the book. It's as if he wanted to write a book about this war but knew that no one would buy a book about an obscure political uprising in the 1500's and decided to trick people into reading about it by hiding it in a book about human behavioral patterns. The only reason I continued reading was because I was sure at some point it was all going to connect and I'd have a moment of clarity. That never happened. Instead I was left blinking at the pages in confusion, trying to guess what he used to bribe the people who wrote the endorsement blurbs on the back cover.

This is the worst book I've read all year.

Onto better reading: Looking for Alaska by John Green. The cover art of this book is vague and without reading the back, I assumed this was a book about explorers looking for Alaska. (You know, that state way up north that looks like it should be part of Canada? What has Alaska given us anyway? Sarah Palin and a nice view of Russia? I say give let them have it.*) Well it's not.

Our story is told through the lens of Miles, affectionately nicknamed pudge because he's so skinny, who leaves his "noneventful life" as a 16-year old in Florida to attend boarding school. He immediately falls in love with our book's namesake, Alaska Young. Alaska is the epitome of what you hope your daughter never becomes. She seduces Miles into her world of drinking, smoking, sex, drugs, cutting class, and pranks. From the beginning her mood is unpredictable, her behavior reckless, and yet her adventurous spirit is lovable, maybe even cute. You want to root for her.

Adding to the mystery, the book's chapters are marked by 138 days before, 42 days before, etc... leading up to an event you know is coming, but can't quite put your finger on. If there's one thing I love in a story it's surprise, and this book definitely delivers. Just when you think you know what the tipping point is, it's not.

Overall, this is a beautiful coming of age story that will leave you thinking about it for days. The writing isn't very sophisticated, but then again neither are high-schoolers, so the voice fits even if at times it feels a touch simplistic. I'd definitely recommend this one, particularly for a younger audience.


*Just kidding! My family and I went on vacation to Alaska when I was a teen and actually it was very pretty.

Today's double feature: The Compassionate Instinct and Made to Stick

The Compassionate Instinct is actually a collection of essays from the magazine Greater Good which despite being in Berkeley, I had no idea existed. I may actually start reading it based on this book. The writings together take a really interesting look at human compassion (also known as positive psychology to those in the academic world) in all of its forms. The book begins in section one: The Scientific Roots of Human Goodness, with the question of how to define compassion, how we display it, and whether or not it can be taught. This part of the book mostly talks about case studies in monkeys/apes/chimps and any other primates human beings evolved from. For the 40% of you who don't believe in evolution, you might want to skip this part. Although noticeably absent is a creationism chapter on why God might have created some humans with so little compassion....volume 2 maybe?

The second section of the book attempts to address how to cultivate compassion with people we interact with, specifically those we have complex relationships with such as spouses/partners, family, and coworkers.
The essays in this section I felt were a little bit scattered, perhaps just ordered poorly, and I felt that the story was not as cohesive as in section 1. I really enjoyed some of them, particularly, given my current situation, Are You a Jerk at Work? and Compassion Across Cubicles, and others, like Stumbling Towards Gratitude and The Choice to Forgive left me inspired. On the other hand, Paul Ekman's conversation with his daughter about trust was boring. Feel free to skim it but if you don't read it I don't think you'll be missing anything.

Finally, in the last section, they broaden the scale to society as a whole. Again, the essays were a tad disjointed and particularly those on heros felt out of place. However, the first 4 are without a doubt the highlights of the book and the lessons have stuck with me all week.

If everyone read this book, the world would be a more compassionate place. So here's my contribution to a better world: read it.

Made to Stick: Some things stay in our mind forever. I can still recall the way my high school science professor Mark Stefanski ended each class* but I can't remember the Spanish word for clam. Companies spend millions trying to create a memorable brand, a memorable ad campaign, etc... yet we rarely recall the billboards we pass on the highway. Enter this book. If you're looking for the tell-all secret handbook on how to create a winning message, you're not going to find it here. What you will find are suggestions on how to make your message simple, credible, concrete, emotional, unexpected, and some other adjectives I already forgot (irony at its finest). Teachers share tips like "make it a mystery that the class unravels with you", ask questions in an "imagine if you..." way. CEOs of corporations and head military officials offer suggestions on creating a one liner that defines your objectives so that all decision making will lead to the same goal.

Is this a little bit fluffy? Yes, yes it is. But I actually think it could be helpful and I definitely recommend it. Of course, even the best, stickiest message won't stick if no one sees it or understands it. I'm talking to you crazy homeless guy with the sign in Wingdings...


* For those interested, here's how he ended each and every science class: "Be good to yourselves, be good to those around you. Go forth and multiply your knowledge and understanding, but keep your DNA to yourself, at least for the time being."

Why Men Marry Bitches - Sherry Argov

From the manipulative mastermind behind Why Men Love Bitches comes this equally manipulative sequel, Why Men Marry Bitches. In the book's defense, the goal is noble: be a woman a man can respect. Their methods...not so much.

Let's say your boyfriend, who normally calls at 5:44 when he gets on the train after work, doesn't call you one day. Logical conclusion: he had to work late, his phone battery died, he ran into an old friend on the train, etc... The book's conclusion: he's losing interest! Sound the alarms! You need to take drastic action and NOW. Don't answer the phone or call him back next time he tries to call you. According to the book, "this keeps the relationship reciprocal and balanced." Really? I'm no expert but if you're feeling that insecure about his interest in you, your relationship has bigger problems.

Another gem from the book: feel free to invite him over for dinner, but just reheat the leftover chinese food from your date the night before. According to the book, this shows you don't feel the need to "overcompensate"and will earn a man's respect. Next time you invite a friend over for dinner why don't you try serving them your leftover takeout and see what they say. Your date might not say anything out of politeness, but your friend will. That's just gross.

And finally, if he brings up marriage, don't act like it's something you want, he's only testing you. Be sure to brush it off with a "no thanks, not on my radar." Again, really? Maybe it's the men I've been meeting lately, but they all have 5 year plans that involve getting married. They're not asking to see how desperate I am (as the book assumes), they're asking because they don't want to waste their time either.

Am I living in a fantasy land where people are actually honest about their feelings? Or is this book just assuming that all men are deceitful players who are only interested in trying to get us into bed, and it's up to us to outsmart them with our bitchy trickery that will make them want to marry us?

Not to be too harsh, there's some good advice in here too. But if it's an honest, equal partnership you're after, skip the games and stick to The Rules.

A Thousand Splendid Suns - Khaled Hosseini

Things I would have appreciated if they had included with this book:

• A box of tissues
• Waterproof mascara
• Prozac

I confess that I have not read Hosseini's first book, The Kite Runner, so I was a little bit unprepared for A Thousand Splendid Suns which is the emotional equivalent of being dropped off a 3 story building. In other words, you'll probably survive, but don't expect to be the same afterwards.

The book takes us to Afghanistan in the 1960's, to a 5 year old girl named Mariam, the illegitimate daughter of a wealthy man, who lives with her mother in a shed. I hesitate to give too much plot away, but imagine all of the terrible things that could happen in your life, and that's Mariam's side of the story.

Midway through the book we meet our second protagonist, Laila, whose world is shattered when all of the terrible things you can imagine also happen to her. For a while I wondered about the connection between the two women, as it was unclear if they would ever relate. Finally, in part 3 of the book the two women's stories converge when they find themselves married to the same (much older) man, who predictably, is also terrible.

If it seems like I'm making light of it, I am a little bit. But only because even thinking about some of things that happen in this book makes me nauseous. Mariam and Laila suffer unimaginable tragedy and experience grief that I can only hope I never have to face. And yet, they remain strong and find a way to carry on with their lives.

It's an intense read that gives us a perspective on modern day Afghanistan and its violent history most of us prefer not to think about. I bulldozed through it in the hopes of "ripping it off like a bandaid" which failed pretty miserably. It's no less upsetting no matter what your reading speed so I can only suggest that if you want to read the book, be sure to wear waterproof mascara, carry a box of tissues, and don't forget the Prozac.

Fool's Errand - Louis Bayard

A note to librarians: if the plot is romance, the book belongs in the romance section. Just because the characters are gay does not make the book real literature.

Now that we got that out of the way, onto the book review: It sucked. Seriously, this book was about as original as a Jennifer Aniston movie. Our main character, Patrick, goes to a house party with his boyfriend even though he's super tired. He goes upstairs to take a nap and encounters his "perfect man", except that he might have been dreaming at the time. Shortly thereafter, his boyfriend breaks up with him for someone named Ted, and Patrick goes on the hunt to find Mr. Perfect. Ted's ex-boyfriend takes an interest in helping Patrick find him, and they spend a huge amount of time together, at the end of which they fall in love. *Groan*. Actually now that I think about it, if this were a movie Katherine Heigl would probably star in it. Reminds me a lot of that one with her and Gerard Butler... (Quick Google search: The Ugly Truth.)

But back to the book. I did think the characters were believable and the dialogue was witty, but 486 pages?! I need more than that. Give me some substance, some action! If this had been 200 pages I would have considered it perfect light beach reading. At its current length, I think I got more use out of it for bicep curls.

Verdict: Skip it. You're better off watching whatever's on Lifetime.

Speed Reviews

Sorry, sorry. I've been feeling super lazy lately and haven't posted in a while. But today, I'm going to fix the situation by reviewing everything in this blog post. Hold on to your hat, folks.

About Schmidt - Louis Begley: I didn't see the movie, but this is one case where I actually feel like it might have been better than the book. Nothing happens at all. The book is entirely about the strained relationship he has with his daughter which becomes worse when she gets engaged to a guy Schmidt doesn't like, and his decision about whether he should give her the house worth millions of dollars. She's an ungrateful spoiled brat, he needs to get a grip, and the only person likeable in this book is the fiancée, who we're not supposed to like. Verdict: Pass.

Endangered Species - Louis Bayard: A heartwarming story of a single gay man on the quest to father a child. The book is funny, a little bit sad, but mostly just feels like you sat down with a friend over coffee and he told you the story of the time he tried to have a kid. Verdict: Perfect light reading.

Little Bee - Chris Cleave: This is the kind of book that makes me think publishing needs a rating system like movies. Had I known this book would give me terrible nightmares rivaled only by the time I accidentally watched the first 5 minutes of Law Abiding Citizen, I definitely would not have brought it on a vacation. The writing is good but ultimately I didn't think it was worth it for the years of therapy I will now require. Verdict: If you can handle graphic rape, violence, and murder, it's a thought provoking story. 

It's Not About the Bike - Lance Armstrong: For someone who has limited interest in biking or Lance Armstrong, I enjoyed this book a lot more than I expected. It's a quick read that follows his early biking career, battle with cancer, and then focuses heavily on the Tour de France victories. At the end of the book he's still with his wife so that tells you something about when it was published. Verdict: Amusing.

The Troublemaker - Rexanne Bechnel: A good old fashioned steamy romance novel. Wealthy socialite meets dangerous man with a secret that could destroy her and her family. It's a little darker than some of the other trashy romance books I've read, but on the plus side I actually didn't know how it would end. I thought the main characters could have been slightly more personable, at times they came off as a little harsh, but overall I really enjoyed it and had a hard time putting the book down. Verdict: A good read if you like romance novels. 

Very Truly Yours - Julie Beard: This romance novel on the other hand felt like every other romance novel ever written. Another wealthy socialite with a secret?! This time, the hero saves her from being blackmailed by an evil Lord/Earl/other noble title but their chemistry feels forced, or maybe just too predictable. It was fun, perfect for an afternoon by the pool, but I'd recommend novels by Julia Quinn, Suzanne Enoch, or Loretta Chase over this one. Verdict: Fine, but not the best. 

The Power of Persuasion - Robert Levine: This book definitely wasn't what I thought it was going to be, but I ended up really liking it. The subtitle being "How we're bought and sold", I was expecting it to relate more to consumers and their purchases. Instead, the book is very much about the psychology of persuasion, ranging from kitchen knives (a section in which he reveals the sales tactics of a door-to-door cutlery salesman after going through the training to become one himself), to cults. It's easy to read, not at all textbook-ish, and peppered with personal stories from Levine's life. Verdict: A fun read with some interesting lessons. I recommend it.

Whew, ok, that was intense. Have a great weekend everyone!

FAIL

I failed the challenge :(  


Everything was going so well. On day 1 of the trip I finished 2 books. On day 2 I finished two more. On day 3 it all started to go downhill when I finally succumbed to the lure of all you can drink margaritas, yoga on the beach, and aqua-aerobics. But coming back from this vacation with new friends and a tan (a big deal for me!), I'd say I definitely won.
Here's the list and how I did with it. I'll definitely be reviewing Little Bee in the near future. The others, maybe/maybe not.


Fiction (real literature)
About Schmidt - Louis Begley Finished!
Fool's Errand - Louis Bayard 
Endangered Species - Louis Bayard Finished!
Little Bee - Chris Cleave Finished! (Last minute addition for those of you who noticed this wasn't on the original list)
It's Not About the Bike - Lance Armstrong Finished! (Another last minute addition courtesy of one of my coworkers)

Fiction (trash)
The Troublemaker - Rexanne Bechnel Finished!
Mr. Cavendish, I presume - Julia Quinn (My all-time favorite romance author) Finished and reviewed!
Very Truly Yours - Julie Beard Finished!
Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea - Chelsea Handler Finished and Reviewed!

Non-Fiction
The Compassionate Instinct: The Science of Human Goodness - Keltner, Marsh, and Smith
Bursts: The Hidden Pattern Behind Everything We Do - Albert-Laszlo Barabasi
Body Language - Julius Fast
The Power of Persuasion - Robert Levine Finished!


Also, for those who are interested, I ordered the shoes anyway. 

Are You There Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea - Chelsea Handler

I have only seen Chelsea Lately twice. But even with my limited sample size I've made some judgments about her. After reading her book, let's see how they compare:

After seeing 2 episodes of Chelsea Lately              After reading the book

She's doesn't seem very nice                                  She's really mean

She's pretty funny                                                  She's moderately funny

What's with her midget obsession?                        Midget fetish confirmed

                                                                 

I'll keep this review short and to the point: I did not like the book one bit. I thought it was offensive, mean-spirited, and not funny. The writing isn't great and feels rushed. The chapters are disjointed and out of order. Her age skips from 7 to 20 to 12 so things have sometimes already occurred in one story that don't actually take place until later in the book. Not only that, but the stories are ridiculous and not at all believable.

Honestly, the best laughs I got out of this book were from the typos. To quote Publisher's Weekly: "[Readers] might find themselves asking for Vodka to help reach the end of this production." 

I'll drink to that!

1 down, 10 to go...

Can you guess which one I finished first? If you know me, which I assume most of you do minus the two people who stumbled onto this blog via dentalimplants.com (side note: seriously?), then this is an easy one. I immediately devoured Mr. Cavendish, I presume by Julia Quinn. If you guessed correctly, give yourself a pat on the back.


I love a good trashy romance novel and Julia Quinn has yet to disappoint. That said, Mr. Cavendish was not my favorite of her books (if you're looking for a recommendation I LOVE her Bridgerton family series) and here's why: this book was written concurrently with The Lost Duke of Wyndham* which is the exact same story, told from someone else's perspective. At first I thought I had made a mistake, and that I had already read Mr. Cavendish, but the déjà vu turned out to be temporary and then I was even more confused. I have read this, no I haven't read this, wait, I definitely have... 


Plot teaser:  Thomas Cavendish is the Duke of Wyndham via a complete fluke. His father was the youngest of 3 sons, but the older two died unexpectedly and thus his father inherited the title which then passed to him, but not before his father signed a marriage contract binding him to Lady Amelia. Unfortunately for her, he has no desire to marry any time soon. In fact, he hasn't even taken the time to get to know her at all, and needless to say, her parents are getting pretty antsy to marry off at least one of their 5 daughters. The pressure is on high and it's just at this time that a highwayman (a term for someone who robs people in coaches as they pass on the road) decides to attack the carriage carrying grandmother Cavendish and her young companion, Grace. Grandma Cavendish isn't having it and in a ridiculous "that would never happen" turn of events, kidnaps the highwayman only to discover he's actually her grandson, the son of her second son, which would make him the duke. If the marriage between his parents was in fact legitimate...


Plot spoiler: In the midst of this, Thomas gets to know his bride-to-be and discovers that she's not so bad after all. But, she's betrothed to The Duke of Wyndham, it doesn't specify who that is and if he turns out not to be the duke, well, she's no longer his. Thus, they all head to Ireland to find the marriage records and determine who is really the duke. Luckily for Thomas, the highwayman/potential new duke falls madly in love with Grace, the companion, on the way. It turns out that the marriage was legitimate and Thomas loses his title, but by that time, he and Lady Amelia are in love and decide to get married anyway. A good move for her since in predictable romance novel fashion, she already gave it up to him and would otherwise be totally ruined.


The book had all the right elements of character chemistry, drama, and a fairytale ending for all, but lacked the warmth found in some of her earlier novels. The Bridgerton books are filled with families who sometimes bicker but really do love each other, characters you aspire to be for their kindness, bravery, or morality, and the kind of passion that Disney movies are made of. Not to mention sex scenes so graphic they'll make you blush! This book seemed to be filled with families who hate each other, characters with (gasp!) flaws, and really nothing about either Mr. Cavendish or Amelia that made them especially...special. As for the sex scene, doing it in the grass with your clothes mostly on doesn't seem like the most romantic way to lose your virginity, but to each her own... And the creepy guy next to me on the Caltrain reading over my shoulder? Well he was definitely blushing. Good to know some things are consistent.


*As I recall, The Lost Duke of Wyndham was actually very good.

Reading binge!

In preparation for my upcoming vacation, I made a trip to one of my favorite places: the library. Unfortunately, it turns out that the library does not love me as much as I love it. I owed $9.25 in late fees which I was required to pay before checking anything else out. Oops! The love/hate relationship continued when I discovered all the books on my reading list were checked out. But in the end, I found some things that looked interesting and came away with 11 books. Yes, you read that correctly, 11 books. I am going on what is best known as a "reading binge".

Here's what came home with me:

Fiction (real literature)
About Schmidt - Louis Begley
Fool's Errand - Louis Bayard
Endangered Species - Louis Bayard

Fiction (trash)
The Troublemaker - Rexanne Bechnel
Mr. Cavendish, I presume - Julia Quinn (My all-time favorite romance author)
Very Truly Yours - Julie Beard
Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea - Chelsea Handler

Non-Fiction
The Compassionate Instinct: The Science of Human Goodness - Keltner, Marsh, and Smith
Bursts: The Hidden Pattern Behind Everything We Do - Albert-Laszlo Barabasi
Body Language - Julius Fast
The Power of Persuasion - Robert Levine


If I "win" by reading all 11 books by next Tuesday (March 14th), I'm going to reward myself by finally using my zappos.com credit to buy these. And maybe if I don't finish all of them... No sense in holding on to the credit for a rainy day, I already have galoshes.

Snoop: What your stuff says about you - Sam Gosling, Ph.D.

Snooping through a friend's bookshelf, refrigerator, or cd collection (if anyone still has one) can reveal more about that person than we might think. Sam Gosling, a psychology professor at the University of Texas, studies stuff for a living to determine exactly what we can assume from someone's space, and the assumptions we make that we probably shouldn't.

There were a couple surprise findings: did you know that the more alcohol bottles in a room the more likely the person is conservative? And a couple "gee...ya think...?" obvious ones: men are more likely to have a hat collection. But otherwise, I didn't learn much from the book. And, in what I would consider a huge flaw in his research, all of the bedrooms his team studied belonged to college students at the University of Texas, Austin. So the findings of this book apply to a very specific group: 18-22 year olds in Austin, Texas who can afford a college education (and have the grades/test scores to be accepted), live on campus, and have enough of an interest in psychology to be willing to participate in an unpaid experiment that requires allowing strangers into their room to analyze their personality.

So, let's take a step back to the findings I noted. I would guess that college students have more alcohol bottles sitting around than the average 40 year old. I would also guess that despite Austin being a pretty liberal city, that the average student is more conservative than someone at UC Berkeley. So, is there a really a strong correlation between the amount of booze and their political leanings, or is each one individually correlated to being in college and their geographic location? As my favorite statistics professor once said, "correlation does not imply causation", and that's exactly where I think the problem lies with this book.

Putting the major issues aside, there's not nearly as much information as I would have hoped. A large and diverse book collection is a sign of someone's openness. A highly organized space can give you clues about someone's conscientiousness. Lots of photos of friends can give clues about their level of extroversion, and dark clothing or motivational posters indicate the person is a little bit neurotic. But, there are quite a few caveats: just because their space is organized the day you see it, doesn't mean they always keep it that way (I am a prime example of this). Geographic location and season heavily influence a person's clothing, as does their profession. And of course, we all have things lying around that are unwanted gifts (or gifts we like but might not necessarily have bought for ourselves), items left by a friend, and if we share our space with a roommate or significant other, things that don't actually belong to us.

So how useful is "snoopology" really? Why not just ask a date or friend about a piece of artwork on their wall or the crazy light hanging over their dining room table? Isn't it kind of invasive to go poking through someone's medicine cabinet when you excuse yourself to use the bathroom? I'd be weirded out if I came back to find someone checking out the insides of my refrigerator; which sometimes resembles a health food store, sometimes is filled with takeout and/or leftovers, and other times contains a redbull and some hot sauce...What would they assume about me based on each of those scenarios?

Despite there being 230 pages of text about it, ultimately it seems there's a very limited amount of information you can learn from someone's stuff, and the risk of being caught rifling through someone's personal belongings...well, hopefully that's enough to keep even the most curious snoopers out of my underwear drawer.

Sarah's Key - Tatiana de Rosnay

The Caltrain is a bad place to read. There's the crunching of food, crinkling of paper, talking on the cellphone, announcements from the train operator, and the constant whistle of the train as it declares its presence on the tracks. It's rare that I'm able to block out the sounds and invest myself fully in whatever I'm reading. But with this book, I didn't hear a thing. 

I'll do my best not to give away too much plot. The chapters alternate between 10-year old Sarah who lives in Paris in 1942, and Julia, a 45-year old American living in Paris in the present day. Their stories intersect when Julia, who is a journalist, is assigned to cover the 60th anniversary of vel d'hiv (a roundup of the Jews in France before they were deported to concentration camps) and in the process of her research discovers the apartment she is about to move into once belonged to Sarah's family. 

The first half of the book found me with a lump in my throat, on the brink of tears, my heart racing. I was completely engrossed (and simultaneously terrified). 

The second half of the book is exclusively in Julia's voice and much more about her personal problems, which was a nice break for my emotions, but also significantly less moving. The book picks up again towards the end, when after losing her voice at the halfway point, we finally find out what happened to Sarah. The very end on the other hand, is a disappointment. Had the book ended 2 pages earlier, I would have loved it. But the last bit was so Hollywood I felt like it was a sellout. 

If you're going to read this one, and I highly recommend it, stop at the bottom of page 289 at "he grinned" to reflect on the book, probably calm yourself down, and then see if you can guess what's about to happen. Proceed with the next 2 pages, and then feel free to snort in disgust. 

Freakonomics and How to Shop for a Husband (Two books, although some would probably argue they are related)

Both fast reads and I don't have a lot to say about either. Also, I apologize in advance because I'm cranky today. In fact, I wish I had read something truly awful, because there's nothing I'd like better right now than to write a long rant about something.

Freakonomics (Steven Levitt and Stephen Dubner): This is neither freaky, nor economics. It is however, REALLY interesting. The cover says genius, but honestly, I wouldn't go quite that far. Basically they mine data for interesting patterns and answer important questions such as: What do school teachers and sumo wrestlers have in common? (cheating), Why do drug dealers live with their moms? (it's a big pyramid scheme, only the guys at the top are making a lot of money),Why did crime drop so suddenly in the 1990's? (legalized abortion).

It's new, it's exciting, but in the end it's fluff. Albeit very manly fluff. The book reads like an extended article, which is not surprising considering Dubner is a journalist. (Levitt is the economist of the pair.) If you read the bonus material in the back of the book, which is the collection of articles Dubner wrote for the New York Times covering Levitt's work, well you would have just read the book. Everything from the book is in those articles. Everything from those articles is in the book. If they've exhausted all of the research Levitt has done so far, maybe it's time to do some more data digging?

If anyone has read Super Freakonomics I'd be interested to hear their thoughts.

How to Shop for a Husband: The Consumer Guide to Getting a Great Buy on a Guy (Janice Lieberman): Here's the book in a nutshell: Don't be too picky, but be choosy. Do compromise, don't settle. Look for a guy with good insides or "guts" as they say. See what's under the hood. Look for one that will last or "the little black dress". Use the mirror in the dressing room, check the price tag, as well as the care instructions, and know when after-purchase repairs and alterations are possible. (Personally I thought the shopping analogy was going a bit too far at this point...) They really mean: look for a guy who is similar to you, make sure you know what you're getting into before you get to the register (altar) or get it home, and know what you can change about a man (and what you can't).

I would definitely recommend either The Rules or Marry Him over this book. It's not even funny or especially well written. Yes it's good advice, but none of it is new. We all know when you're looking for a great pair of pants that will last you don't go to H&M. Just apply that same thinking to men.

As for me, I'm not really shopping for a husband right now, so I'll be in the shoe department...

Comfort Me With Apples - Ruth Reichl

You have probably deduced from reading this blog that I love books. Here's a new fun fact about me: I also love food. And when the two come together it's like a delicious explosion of bibliofoodaphilia. (Yes, I did just invent a new word.)

One of the things that's so great about reading is that words have the ability to make you feel emotion and let you experience something you otherwise might not. Imagine you're holding a peach; it's firm yet soft in your hand, a beautifully orangey-pink color. You take a bite and your teeth sink through the fuzzy skin, feeling the burst as the fleshy insides dance in your mouth with their sweet flavor delighting your taste buds one by one. A drop of juice escapes through the corner of your lips and begins to roll down your chin. You try to catch it with your tongue but it's too late, and all you can do is giggle at the simple pleasure that comes from eating a perfectly ripe peach.

There. I made you hungry didn't I? The power of language at work...and no one does this as well as Ruth Reichl. From her first book of stories about growing up, "Tender at the Bone", followed by "Comfort Me With Apples", to her third book, "Garlic and Sapphires", chronicling her life in disguise as the New York Times food critic, her writing is filled with humor, wit, and touching stories about how food can bring families together (or pull them apart).

I read the 'trilogy' out of order, beginning with Garlic and Sapphires, then Tender at the Bone, and I just finished Comfort Me With Apples. But it didn't even matter. The writing is so poignant, honest, and approachable she probably could have written about her love of anthills and I would have been fascinated.

Reichl has an amazing gift that allows the reader to enter her world of food, letting us experience that first bite of peach time and time again. It left me desperately wanting to be a part of it all...and also pretty hungry.

True at First Light - Ernest Hemingway

As you probably gathered from my previous posts, I've been "reading" this one for a while. And by reading I mean I've been carrying it around in my purse with the intent to read it. But I finally forced myself to finish it yesterday and immediately felt an immense sense of satisfaction. Small confession: because my blog posts on dating books have been the most popular, (Marry Him has 47 page hits; my review of Prozak Highway has 9), a friend gave me another one to review called How to Shop for a Husband which I have been secretly reading. However, it is definitely not my intention to make this into a blog about dating books, and it has also recently come to my attention that some of my dates actually do read this...

So, back to Hemingway. In the time I've been reading this book, I've discussed it with a number of people who have all had the same reaction: "Huh, I haven't heard of that one" and there's a simple explanation. The book was released in 1999. If you're a Hemingway fan, you're probably aware that he died in 1961. The original manuscript, which was unfinished at the time of his death, was donated by his wife at the time to the John F. Kennedy library and later edited, reworked, and finished by Hemingway's son, Patrick. I can't be 100% sure of this, but there was a point in the book towards the end where the style seemed to shift, the circles turned into awkward ovals, and I'm guessing that's where Patrick took over.

Brief synopsis: Ernest and his wife Mary are living in a remote village in Africa where Ernest is in charge following the departure of Pop, another white hunter who serves as the leader. There are a variety of other characters including gun bearers, game scouts, and some cooks/servants mentioned, but otherwise the story is completely focused hunting with tiny bits of Ernest and Mary sprinkled in. But mainly hunting.

In the first half of the book, nothing happened. Oh, there was plenty of talk. First there was Ernest's paranoia that he would be robbed by neighboring villages or murdered in his sleep by his own servants (there was some sort of religious controversy happening in Africa at the time). Then there were the prisoners that escaped who were on their way to the camp but who never materialized. There were some destructive animals, crazy villagers, and the persistent fear that Mary would be mauled by her lion while trying to kill it before Christmas. None of it happened.

In the second half of the book, as predicted, Mary kills the lion. No further mention is made of The Informer being hanged, though I thought I had that one figured out too, especially after he's caught stealing a bottle of lion fat. Other notable events in the second half of the book: the celebration of the killing of Mary's lion which lasts about 50 pages, Ernest kills a leopard, Mary goes to Nairobi to go shopping, and while she's gone Ernest takes up with a native girl who likes to stroke his gun holster (euphemism anyone?) and sit next to him in the car.

If someone gave this to me as a first draft, I would say it has a lot of potential. There are a few beautifully written segments throughout and despite the horrific nature of the situation, the scene in which Hemingway describes having to kill his horse as a young boy is especially impressive. However, as a published piece of literature, particularly coming from an author who was known to revise and revise and revise until he was sure the words were perfect, the book came up short for me. I struggled to engage with the story, feel a sense of closeness to the characters, or really even come away from the book with a message or new understanding.

I can't help but wonder if Hemingway would be pleased with this version of the story, or whether, if maybe the manuscript should have remained safely tucked away in the John F. Kennedy Library for us to admire as a lovely first draft.

Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough - Lori Gottlieb

I am almost ashamed to admit that I finished this book already. But I literally couldn't put it down. (Though it should be noted that I was embarrassed to be seen in public with it and may or may not have hid it inside the Hemingway book while reading on BART.)

Lest anyone get concerned, the book is not actually encouraging women to settle, (although if you listen closely you can still hear the feminists crying) it merely suggested that women take a more realistic look at dating. Our list of "Must haves" is actually mostly nice to haves. We want a man who is tall, successful, and likes wine tasting. We need a man who is loyal, trustworthy, and supportive. It's about erasing the image you have in your head of Mr. Perfect, because frankly, he doesn't exist. The funny, sweet, kind of geeky guy who has had a crush on you for ages will be a great husband, father, and partner. The really sexy, exciting guy will probably cheat on you with his secretary.

Women are quick to discount a man because he's not tall enough, makes less money, can't dress well. We write him off after the first date because we didn't feel sparks or chemistry; because your future husband would never order sparkly water, chew with his mouth open, like Justin Bieber, etc...But the lesson is that none of that matters because you have a partner who is a great father for your kids, who respects you, and who will be there for you. Maybe a first date that's nice but doesn't blow your mind is a better predictor of success in a relationship. In the cases she cites, couples who began with friendship and didn't feel the butterflies immediately were more likely to still be together and happy than those who said the relationship started with great chemistry.

I thought of the guy with the piercings who asked me out last week. I had eliminated him as a possibility because my future husband would definitely not have his ears or nose pierced. But was he reliable, loyal, & trustworthy? Could I look past that and not "settle", but "compromise" and learn to love someone like that? The prospect seemed doubtful, but that's exactly what Gottlieb encourages her readers to do.

To test this theory I logged on to Okcupid.com, a free internet dating site my friends had been bugging me to try. I began with the ideal man as I pictured him in my head and filtered accordingly. I had 7 matches.
I began expanding the list. I'm 5'6", do I really need a guy who's at least 6'? I lowered my minimum height to 5'10". He could live within 50 miles, have kids. Be as young as 24 or as old as 35. He didn't have to be Jewish. He could own a cat. Items I was not willing to budge on: single, non-smoker, no drugs, wants kids. I had 100 pages of matches. Maybe none of them were Mr. Right, but I wasn't even giving them the chance to find out!

The more I read the book the more I realized I had been eliminating potentially great guys because "I just knew they weren't the one". Because when I imagined my future life that isn't who I imagined I'd end up with. But then I tried to follow her advice and imagine my future self alone. The thought was depressing. So why had I ruled out all the guys I'd been on dates with recently?

Gottlieb argues that women in our generation have been brought up with a sense of entitlement. We believe we can, and deserve, to have it all. But the truth is, while most women are out being "maximizers" looking for the best that's out there, the smart ones are realizing that good is good enough and grabbing it. We want someone not just as good as us, but better than us. Women who are a 7 want a 9. We over-analyze the faults with men and ignore our own. Divorced with kids? No way. Never mind that you have a crazy stalker ex boyfriend, don't know how to boil water, and let your hamster run freely around the living room. Her point is simply that everyone comes with baggage, and if you want to find a partner, it's time to acknowledge yours and accept someone else's.

Because the book was written by a 40 year old woman whose options are much more limited, I related, but still had a hard time with her advice. Her matchmaker struggles to find any men in the database to set her up with; after 1 day on okcupid I had 57 emails... But the message is solid and I think it's an important one so that we don't end up 41 and single wishing we hadn't passed up the guys in our twenties who were good enough. We expect that after rejecting guy after guy there will always be more guys to reject. But there won't. Because we're not willing to compromise for a 7, we hold out for a 9, and ultimately end up settling for a 5.

So I'll leave you with this thought from Gottlieb and her dating coach, "You can be as picky as you like, as long as you have the option of being that way."